Though we now attend a different church, this was a testimonial I gave…

When Grayson called the other evening and asked if I would be willing to speak before you today, my palms began to sweat and my heart began to race. I so much wanted to say “no.”  Even after he gave me a way out, I knew I needed to speak.  This place has become that important to me. We all have our stories as to how we got to King Avenue and as to why we stay here.  Those stories are important to share.

During the few short months that I’ve been attending King Avenue, this church has begun to fill a void in my life and has helped to heal a rift between me and other people and, more importantly, between me and God.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt a need for God in my life.  As a young child I especially felt a longing for God at evening vesper services at church camp. I loved the quietness of the dusk and the peacefulness of the service. I could hear my soul and God calling to one another.

For as long as I can remember, I have also needed to be part of a church where I could come to God as the person that I am. I have needed a church home. But, as I grew older and discovered that I had feelings that were different from those of most other persons, the church I had been attending since birth, a church in another denomination, became a terrifying place to attend.

In creating humans, God has created complex and diverse beings.  Yet, as a teen I soon learned that I had to deny and fight who I am—a person who happens to be gay. I soon isolated myself and refused to let anyone near me partly because of society’s message but largely because the church I was attending taught me that the God who created me is also the God who hates me.

How hard it is to need God and to be told that God wants nothing to do with me.  How horrible it is to feel rejected by society and to be told that the God who made me also views me as an abomination. When I was able, I left the church and ran as far from it and from God as I could go.

God, however,  has a way of finding us and calling us back no matter how far we run. After trying some other churches for a while, I again quit going as the debate about gays in the church heated up.  Soon, however, that longing for a church home returned and I decided to try finding a church again.  King Avenue was the first church I attended and in, a very short time, I knew it was the one I would make my home.

I am so thankful for this church and for the people who worship here.  Finally, I have found a church that openly and lovingly embraces me.  I’ve found a church that welcomes me as another of God’s many children. I have found a church that tells me that God really does love and care for me and really does call to me to come just as I am.

Like a loving family, this King Avenue welcomes all persons for who they are and accepts and affirms them. Like a loving family, King Avenue encourages us all to grow in the spirit and to share our gifts from God with those within and without these walls.

Truly, I feel blessed because, for the first time in many years, I feel like I am really home.

A letter written to the United Methodist District Office:

After reading Grayson Atha’s recent letter to the editor concerning the decline in membership, and after reading several responses to his letter, I feel compelled to present another, more personal, viewpoint. 

I was not raised a United Methodist but came to Methodism after having been brought up in a denomination that often taught me that the God who made me also hated me.  After years of avoiding any church, I found a Methodist church that accepted me.  I withdrew my membership from Methodism, however, after tiring of the many hate-filled letters I read in the West Ohio News after Bishop Craig courageously and prayerfully called for churches that accepted all God’s children.  I did not leave Methodism because of the individual church I attended (in fact, I felt accepted by that church) but because I did not want to again be part of a denomination that judged me, tried me and rejected me all in the name of God’s love.

As a gay man who loves God, however, I recently felt the call to once again find a church home.  It is to God’s credit alone that I even began to look after having had a lifetime of experiences in which so many loving Christians made sure that I felt hated and rejected.  I am thankful, however, that I took the chance and listened to the call again because I have found a place that tells me that God loves all his children.  I am even, surprisingly, once again a United Methodist. Thankfully, there are some bishops and ministers who understand that it is God’s love that fills a church with people rather than people’s select interpretation of God’s word. 

A recent letter I sent to the Judicial Council of the United Methodist Church: (11/9/05)

I am deeply saddened by the Judicial Council's decision to defrock Rev. Irene "Beth" Stroud. Though I do not know her, I understand her need to speak and live honestly as a human and as a leader of the church.

For the United Methodist Church to ask gays and lesbians to keep their sexual orientation a secret is to ask them to lead a life of lies. I cannot understand how a Christian organization can ask its members to lie and to live without integrity. I cannot understand how a Christian church can ask its members to deny God's gift of love. I cannot understand how they can act as though they know and understand the gift of sexuality better than does God.

I am a gay man who has served as the chairperson of our staff parish committee, and has served on several other committees.  I love my church. I love my God. 

Since last November as government and churches renewed their attack on me and millions like me, I have not been able to bring myself to attend church or to contribute my time and money.

I was almost at the point, however, of returning to church but with the recent announcement by the Judicial Council, I now find myself trying to decide if I need to leave the church forever. 

I find it morally and spiritually reprehensible to remain part of a church that seeks to act in such a hateful and bigoted manner as the United Methodist Church is acting.