Issues:

Source:  Arthur Lipkin, Understanding Homosexuality, Changing Schools

Safety:

Adolescence is often difficult as one faces the challenges of friendship, family, school, first job, first romantic relationship, increasing independence, and so much more.  Add to this time the stress that comes as one realizes he/she is gay or lesbian, and the teen years become even more challenging. 

Though there are few good studies on gay youth, researchers are starting to take the existence and problems of gay teens more seriously. The research has been difficult because of the stigma attached to gays and lesbians.  It has also been challenging because many teens are not yet willing to admit, even to themselves, that they are gay.

·        In Vermont’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey  (YRBS) of 1997, 8.7 percent of the 3,886 sexually active males reported one or more male partners during the year. 

·        In Seattle’s 1996 YRBS, 5 percent of the 8,400 students surveyed classified themselves as gay or lesbian while another 4 percent said they were questioning. 

·        Early work suggests that most of the emotional damage done to gay youth is the result of homophobia and heterosexism. Other research demonstrates that the negative behaviors of some gay or lesbian persons are actually ways of coping in a hostile environment.

·        Gay and lesbian youth are at risk.

Most gay youth anticipate, or even experience, violence in their lives.  This is probably their greatest obstacle to successful adjustment.  As shocking as are the statistics, they probably under represent the actual truth of what gay youth experience.  

Some results from the Massachusetts 1997 YRBS:

                                                                                         Gay/Lesbian     Straight

Property stolen or damaged in the past year                  42.9%              26.8%

Being  in a physical fight in the past year                        24.1%              12.4%

Being in a fight requiring medical attention                     13.7%              3.9%

Skipping school out of fear                                              18.0%              4.0%

Being threatened with a weapon in the last year            28.1%              6.6%

Carrying a weapon to school in the last month              20.2%              7.5%

Gay youth often report extreme feelings of isolation.  Because they are often harassed and attend schools and other institutions where gay persons are not acknowledged,  many gay high school students are at risk.  A study by G. Remafedi (“Male Homosexuality”) found that as many as 28% of gay youth drop out of school.  Another study for the NGLTF (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force) found that 25% of gay teens are thrown from their homes. 

Gay youth seldom have a place to meet other gay teens or to socialize.  Many think they do not know anyone else who is gay or lesbian.  Many gay teens also report extreme alienation and isolation at home, at places of worship, and in most other areas of life.  In short, they feel alone, lonely, shameful, guilty, unwanted and unacknowledged. 

Positive images of gay persons does not instantly solve this problem.  Once gay youth, however, build sustaining relationships with other gay persons, hear about gays and lesbians in school, and are acknowledged as being just as important as the straight teens, positive changes begin.  They start to develop coping skills, experience less stress, find a more positive sense of self-worth, and a sense of belonging.

Results from the Massachusetts 1997 Youth Risk Behavior Survey:

                                                                           gay              straight

Attempted suicide last year                            36.6%         8.4%

Seriously considered suicide last year         53.9%         22.3%

Planned suicide last year                              41.3%        18.3%

A Washington State report found that 33% of gay youth had seriously considered suicide during the last year and 20% had made at least one attempt.  As one student reported in the Massachusetts study, “I just began hating myself more and more, as each year the hatred towards me grew and escalated from just simple name-calling in elementary school to having persons in high school threaten to beat me up, being pushed and...a number of other daily tortures.” Another said, “I was always an outcast at school.  Books were my  best friends.  I ostracized myself from the rest of the world because I felt as if I could trust no one, not even my parents.  The pressure of feeling so alone manifested itself in fits of manic depression, hysterical outbreaks, and eventually suicidal tendencies.”  Finally, another wrote, “What I wanted was attention.  I wanted someone to look at me and give me that attention and realize that I was being overlooked.”

Other manifestations of self hatred can include, self-mutilation, diet disorders, over compensation, perfectionism, and a feeling of being a fraud.

Independence:

One task of adolescence is that of striving for independence.  While most  high school students break away from home they still know that they can fall back on their family for guidance and support.  Gay youth, however, are often not “out” to their family and are fearful of their family’s reaction if they did come out. They also may not have the safety net of friends, places of worship, teachers, and so forth.

Gay teens also have trouble achieving moral independence since society sends them continual messages that being gay or lesbian is wrong, or even evil, and that they must hide or deny themselves. It is also difficult for gay youth to achieve independence since they have few opportunities to know or meet openly gay adults who could be role models, or to explore affirming sources of information. Gay youth, therefore, usually make their journey alone and without support or guidance.

Without authentic ties to other people, gay youth may fall into drug and alcohol abuse in order to numb the pain that comes from constant self-monitoring and loneliness. Some results from the Massachusetts 1997 Youth Risk behavior Survey:

           Gay       Straight

Alcohol use at school in the past 30 days          18.9%    5.6%

Marijuana use in the last 30 days                        48.5%    31.2%

Cocaine use in lifetime                                        29.7%    6.1%

Cigarette smoking in the past 30 days              54.1%    33.6%

Closeness/Relationships:

Probably the most crucial tasks of adolescence are those of finding one’s identity and achieving intimate relationships. Gay youth are clearly at a disadvantage since they usually feel like they must hide who they are and must pretend to be who they are not. In such circumstances, honest, intimate, open, authentic, trusting, mature relationships are not possible.

Many gay youth will develop coping strategies that keep them from developing relationships.  Some will immerse themselves in school, hobbies and work.  Others will make relationships short term.  Some will seek anonymous sex, or sex without emotional attachment.

Some findings from the Massachusetts 1997 YRBS:   

         gay       straight

Had sexual intercourse                             76.9%     43.5%

Had 4+ sex partners in 3 months            21.2%      4.1%

Had 4+ sex partners lifetime                   44.4%    23.8%

Been or gotten someone pregnant          24.3%     12.2%

Such strategies also lead to:

• Health risks (STDs, etc.)
• Late start at relationships
• Fear of showing affection
• Keeping secret a boy/girl friend; feelings of shame and guilt
• Hiding one’s life from others
• Internalized stigma, hatred

Gay and lesbian persons sometimes have difficulty developing a sense of confidence in their own ability and thus may not be as hopeful and resilient in life as they might otherwise be.  Because of internalized homophobia, many gay persons do not believe they can accomplish much with their life. This is partly because gay has become synonymous with stupid, incompetent and immature.  Thus, the phrase, “that’s so gay,” is especially hurtful to gay persons. Many gay and lesbian youth also believe the stereotypes about what it is to be gay and not develop the conventional skills of their gender. Furthermore, many gay persons are also damaged as they strive to shut off their sexual desires and thus become fearful of all strong feelings, or become numb.

Another problem for many gay persons is that of self-awareness.  Because they are raised in a culture that causes them to deny themselves, many gay persons try to be who they are not. Inner conflict builds as they try to pass for straight and as they try to deny themselves.  Interestingly, if a gay youth does not accept him/herself until later in adulthood, he/she may relive many of the tasks of adolescence at that time of coming out.

To summarize these last newsletters, gay youth must not only work on the “regular” tasks of adolescence, but must also deal with many other issues arising from society’s homophobia.  The teen years can be difficult for straight persons but can be even more challenging for those youth who are gay or lesbian.  Though many GLB people do “just fine,” gay youth still need our attention, guidance and support as they strive to become adults.