On this page you will find:

1. The agenda for the “Forum on GLB Youth”
2. Handout materials for the workshop

Making ____Safer and More Inviting for GLB Youth

“Since when do you have to agree with people to defend them from injustices?”
--Lillian Hellman

“All of us must have accurate information, if only to sharpen our awareness of the silences in schools.”
--Arthur Lipkin

Introduction to the workshop:

Thank you for choosing to participate in this workshop. The ____ School District is committed to making our schools safe and inviting. This workshop, and others to follow, will address the needs of one segment of the population—those who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. We hope that by the end of the workshop we will have given you some “food for thought” that will open doors of communication throughout the school. We hope that dialogue will focus on how we can better address the needs of what may be the second largest minority group within our building.

Agenda:

Introduction:
Why we need to act:
What we can do now:
Good resources:
What we need to consider:
Discussion/Q and A:

Why we need to act

GLB (gay, lesbian and bisexual) youth face a variety of experiences and circumstances that can have a profoundly negative impact on their physical, emotional, psychological, social and academic well-being. The effects of these stressors can be lessened when GLB students know they have places to turn for support, care, information and acceptance.

Helps fulfill the mission and philosophy of ____ stated core values:
Vision of ____ Schools: The ____ Schools will work with the parents and community to become the largest excellent school district in the state of Ohio by 2005; provide a progressive educational program in a safe, inviting and nurturing environment; and use a variety of instructional strategies, utilizing current technology to acquire and expand knowledge; to meet the needs of all students.

Mission of ____ High School is to provide a safe and inviting learning environment where individuals work to achieve their highest potential. Students, staff, parents, and community will work together to ensure that all individuals grow socially, emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

Philosophy of ____ High School: We, the staff of ____ High School believe the school's responsibility extends to all students. We believe programs should be established to permit all students to achieve to the best of their ability. We believe that the learning experiences offered should provide all students with the opportunity to develop the human, academic, and technical skills necessary to meet the demands of our society. We believe that the staff should prepare students to accept the rights, duties, and obligations of citizenship in our society. Democratic principles should be examined because they guide our government, our lives, and our educational system. We believe each student should develop an awareness of the changing nature of our society and a sense of responsibility for its improvement.

____ Way: “The ____ Way is all about Character, Community and Commitment.” Values promoted include: tolerance, citizenship, fairness, caring, loyalty, integrity, respect, and honesty among others.

Everyone—gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight—is hurt by homophobia and heterosexism (adapted from Warren Blumenfeld)

Locks people into rigid gender-based roles that inhibit creativity and self- expression. People may choose to act certain ways, pursue certain goals, or sacrifice certain dreams and passions so as not to appear gay or lesbian. A girl, lesbian or straight, may want to be a mechanical engineer but shy away from that dream since “males are supposed to go for that career.” Or a boy, gay or straight, may want to be a chef but sacrifice his passion so as not to appear gay.
Pressures heterosexual persons to treat gay (or suspected gay) persons badly and thus compromise their own integrity and basic sense of humanity. Since many social institutions appear to condone, or even promote, the discrimination, harassment and oppression of GLB persons, some otherwise good people may participate in verbally or physically abusing someone who may be gay, lesbian or bisexual. Some students may skip school, dropout, or strive to “fade into the woodwork” so as to be safer.
Limits and inhibits relationships and a sense of community. Persons who might benefit from knowing each other may avoid friendships. People who might work well together might avoid being a team. People learn to live and communicate in inauthentic ways.
Causes some young people to have sex early and often so as to "prove" themselves straight, thus increasing the chances of pregnancy and of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.
Inhibits diversity. We do not have to like everyone, but we do have to live and work together. We all lose as we isolate ourselves and exclude other persons.
Takes its toll on people's ability to be productive and to participate fully in the school. When students or faculty expend energy protecting themselves or hiding, they have less to contribute to the school. Because they feel anger and pain over having to hide or protect themselves, and because they feel unwelcome as the people they are, they may be less effective and loyal.

The life of a gay, lesbian or bisexual person is placed on hold until he/she can begin to “come out.” This often results in stunted emotional and social growth and a lower self-esteem. 80% GLB youth report severe feelings of isolation, alienation and invisibility. (Journal of Homosexuality). Depression strikes GLB youth 4-5 times more severely than non-gay peers (Hammelman).
Gays and lesbians are probably the most frequent victims of hate motivated violence today. (National Institute of Justice)
Students are asking for information since they are so exposed to issues of sexual orientation in the media
In a study of Massachusetts high school students, 33% of those who identify as being GLB say they had been threatened with a weapon in the past month compared with 7% of those who identify as straight (Pediatrics Journal).
The average age a GLB person comes out has dropped from 20 to almost 13, and more than 95% of 7^th graders understand what being gay means (Ritch Savin-Williams, Professor of Developmental and Clinical Psychology, Cornell University).
More than 65% of GLB students have been sexually harassed, and more than 21% have been physically assaulted (2001 National School Climate Survey).
GLB students are five times more likely to miss school because they are afraid for their safety. They are also more likely to engage in sex, and to abuse drugs or alcohol as a means of coping with homophobia and heterosexism. (Journal of the American Medical Association).
GLB students can be subjected to so much bullying at school that they do not receive an adequate education. This problem may affect as many as 2 million school-age youth across the nation (Human Rights Watch).
School faculty and staff often do not know how to intervene or choose not to intervene, yet courts are increasingly finding against school systems for not getting involved in cases of harassment and violence against GLB persons. (James Sears, Prof of Education at University of South Carolina).
GLB students often spend much of their energy on surviving school rather than on learning.
Some studies suggest that 1 out of 4 families have a GLB family member. Studies suggest that out of every ten students, 1-3 of them are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or have an immediate family member who is GLB. In a class of 30, between 3 and 9 of the students have direct experiences with the issues of homosexuality and homophobia. Sexual orientation issues are of personal importance to a large number of students.
“The US school system gets a failing grade when it comes to providing a safe place for gay students to get an education. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender kids face a greater risk of bullying than any other students in American high schools. That has to stop.” (Michael Bochenek, counsel to the Children’s Rights Division of Human Rights Watch).
23% of GLB students suffer an assault that requires medical attention. (Massachusetts Department of Education).
Most GLB students do not report harassment, violence or other problems since they do not feel safe to do so, have difficulty accepting themselves, or are reluctant to discuss personal issues with someone who may not understand.
The majority of persons who bully are not hate-filled but believe society condones the harassment of GLB persons. (Report to the American Psychological Association, Dr. Karen Franklin).
97% of high school students report regularly hearing homophobic remarks at school. (Massachusetts Governor’s Commission on Gay and Youth, 1993).
Studies on youth suicide show that GLB persons are 2-6 times more likely to kill themselves than are straight youth. (Report of the Secretary’s Task Force on Youth Suicide, US Dept. of Health and Human Services).
20-40% of homeless youth are gay or lesbian. (National Network).

We need to consider how we can better create a sense of community and safety for a largely invisible minority group within the building. We must think about how we can better address: homophobic remarks and jokes, defacing of property with anti-gay remarks and references, the need for recognition of existence, the anxiety and depression often felt among gay youth, the emotional and physical safety and well-being of GLB students, the isolation and alienation felt by many gay youth, and the academic success of GLB youth.

What we can do now

Some districts have student GSA’s (gay-straight alliances). Some have Safe Place Programs. There are many directions we could take. It is our hope that this workshop will open dialogue on how we can better work with the students and families with whom we are associated. You may never have a GLB person “come out” to you, but you can be confident that he/she feels safer and more welcome just knowing that you are an ally. In the meantime, there are ways we can act today.

Challenge homophobia. Establish guidelines preventing name-calling, harassment, anti-gay jokes, and phrases such as “that’s so gay.” When you list categories of comments (racist, sexist, etc.) that are not acceptable in the classroom, add homophobic and define it.

Each and every time someone says something like, “that’s so gay,” publicly address the issue and explain that it is a hurtful comment that should not be used. Explain how this is an issue of equality and the right to an education free from harassment.

Have something gay related in your classroom that identifies you as a safe person.

When talking about diversity or assigning research topics related to diversity, include gay and lesbian persons and topics. Acknowledge the contributions of GLB persons to society. Acknowledge how their sexuality might have influenced their work just as you would acknowledge how a Jew’s background might have influenced his/her contributions.

Challenge heterosexism. Be aware of the presence of GLB persons. Don’t assume that everyone is heterosexual. Use inclusive or neutral language that shows that not all persons are straight. Place yourself in the shoes of a GLB person in your class. How would you feel during discussions and lectures? Would you hear about people like you? Would you feel equal and included, or would you feel invisible and inferior? (E.g. “Are you seeing anyone?” rather than “Do you have a boy friend?”)

Let students label themselves. Some persons in high school are questioning; they have not yet fully discovered their sexual orientation as being gay, bisexual, lesbian or straight. Some GLB persons may not yet be ready to accept their sexual orientation.

If someone comes to you about sexual orientation issues, be willing to interact with that person, or to help him/her find information or people who can help. You are not, however, expected to be an expert or a counselor.

If you are a GLB administrator, faculty or staff member, consider being more open so that students have role models. Be aware, though, that your decision to be more open could have serious consequences.

Be willing to learn about resources and to discuss issues important to GLB persons. Do so in a nonjudgmental fashion.

Maintain appropriate confidentiality.

Do not advise youth to come out to parents and friends, but to come out at their own safe pace. Some studies show that over 25% of gay youth who tell their parents are forced to leave home.

What should I do if someone comes out to me?

Do not rush the process of understanding and accepting the person who comes out to you. It takes time. Instead, seek information, ask questions, and read.
Don’t criticize the person for being different. Listen and learn. Find out about his/her life experiences. Understand issues that are important to him or her.
Don’t demand that he/she try to change.
Don’t tell the person it is a phase.
Know that the person feels vulnerable and frightened. He/she trusts you.
Know that the person has probably spent countless hours preparing to share this information with you.
Know that the gay, lesbian or bisexual person knows that all of us have been raised in a society that despises gay persons. He or she fears how you may respond.
Know that the person has not changed. He or she is simply telling you more about who he/she is. Reassure the person of your care.
Some questions that may help to break the ice:

How long have you known you are gay?
Is there someone special in your life?
Have I ever unknowingly offended you?
Is there some way I can be of support?
Has it been hard for you to carry this secret?

Keep the lines of communication open.

You may wonder why the person came out to you:

The first reason many persons give for coming out is that of personal growth

It is important to mental and spiritual health especially since society has subjected GLB persons to a life of invisibility and silence.
It allows one to communicate with honesty and integrity about self.
It allows one to establish more authentic and whole relationships.
It is essential to the growth of intimacy.
It helps to build trust among people.
It makes one feel less alienated and isolated as well as less fearful and ashamed.

It lets other people know that there really is no mystery about persons who are gay, lesbian or bisexual.
It is a statement about the acceptance of reality.
It allows the person to claim a place in the world.
It lets one live more fully rather than under the conditions society imposes.
It is healing and liberating as one puts “demons to rest.”

A Bibliography of Resources

Books: Amazon.Com Books

Bass, Ellen. Free Your Mind. This is a book for gay youth and their parents, friends, teachers and allies. I was not overly impressed with this book as a whole, though it did have some sections that were good. There is a good section for adults who want to work to make “the world” a better place for gay youth. The authors look at topics such as coming out, dealing with friends and family, finding spiritual and community support and others.

Bauer, Marion (editor). Am I Blue? This anthology was very good, though I thought a couple of the stories are more suitable for more mature teens. The book contains 16 stories by YA writers who present a variety of gay-positive experiences for youth. Though the stories often focus on the struggle of being part of a minority group, they also show the pride, affection and love of gay teens. Booklist and Kirkus Reviews both claim that this book should be in every YA collection.

Bernstein, Robert. Straight Parents, Gay Children. Coming out is hard on the gay person, but it is also hard for the parents who must also go through a kind of coming out. After the author’s daughter came out to the family, they had to journey from merely tolerating her sexual orientation to accepting her and supporting her fully. A good book for parents, teachers, clergy and other allies.

Brown, Rita Mae. Rubyfruit Jungle. This Young Adult novel was one of the first for lesbians. It has since become a classic in this genre. Donna E. Shalala, Secretary of Health and Human Services, said of the novel's heroine:" Molly Bolt is a genuine descendant--genuine female descendant--of Huckleberry Finn. And Rita Mae Brown is, like Mark Twain, a serious writer who gets her messages across through laughter."

Chandler, Kurt. Passages of Pride. Journalist, Kurt Chandler, interviews six gay and lesbian teens from St. Paul, to discover what life is like for them.

Chbosky, Stephan. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. USA Today claims that this Amazon.Com #1 Young Adult Novel is written in the tradition of Catcher in the Rye and A Separate Peace. Though the protagonist goes through many trials as he comes of age in high school, the reader always likes Charlie.

Clark, Don. Loving Someone Gay. A therapist offers guidance and advice for gays and lesbians, parents and friends, and counselors.

Cohen, S. When Someone You Know is Gay. Addresses straight teens that are uncomfortable knowing someone who is gay.

Cowan, Thomas. Gay Men and Women Who Enriched the World. This book presents short biographical sketches of gays and lesbians throughout history who have helped to shape the world.

Crutcher, Chris. Ironman. This young adult (YA) novel has won wide acclaim. The American Library Association (ALA) chose it as a Best Book for Young Adults while the School Library Journal picked it as Best Book of the Year. Bo Brewster loses a spot on the high school football team and must attend Anger Management Group. There he meets several other persons who have defenses that are raised high. In the course of events, Bo comes to learn that someone close to him is gay.

Dew, Robb. The Family Heart. This is a very nicely done book that is especially for parents. Dew tells the personal journey she and her family took when her son came out. The book won wide acclaim from reviewers.

Due, Linnea. Joining the Tribe. A portrait of gay and lesbian teens from across America, including interviews and analysis.

Fairchild, Betty. Now That You Know. Mothers of gay children write about how parents can respond supportively to their own gay and lesbian child.

Ford, Michael. Outspoken. Six men and five women serve as positive role models as they tell how they have come to accept their sexual orientation.

Fricke, Aaron. Reflections of a Rock Lobster. This is the true story of a gay boy growing up in Rhode Island. He made national news when he took a male date to his senior prom. This is his story of coming to terms with being different from the mainstream.

Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. Seventeen-year-old Liza meets Annie at a museum and they soon become friends and then lovers. Though the writing is rather conventional, this book is still a classic of same-sex literature for young adults. The ALA chose it as a Best Book of 1982 and Booklist chose it for its Reviewer’s Choice.

Griffin, C. Beyond Acceptance. This book is really for parents most of all. It helps to explain what their child might be going through as he/she comes to terms with being gay. It also addresses issues important to parents of gay youth and provides information that will help to strengthen the family bond.

Harbeck, K. Coming Out of the Classroom Closet. An exploration of gay students, teachers and curricula.

Heron, Ann. Two Teenagers in Twenty. This nonfiction book presents the testimonies of close to 40 gay youth ages 12-24. It is a book appropriate for youth as well as straight allies. A companion to this book is called One Teenager in Ten.

Homes, A. M. Jack. This Young Adult book is about an adolescent coming to grips with the realization that his parents’ divorce was caused because his father admitted he was gay. The book explores the restoration of the relationship between father and son.

Kaiser, Charles. The Gay Metropolis. A look at the history of gay America from the 1940’s to the present. This history is told through a variety of anecdotes of people who lived during the time periods examined. Winner of the Lambda Literary Award.

Kerr, M. E. Deliver Us From Evie. Evie’s romance, in this YA novel, threatens her family’s small farm.

Kerr, M.E. Hello, I Lied. In this YA novel, 17-year-old Lang tries to decide how to come out to his friends while struggling with an infatuation with a girl from France.

Koertge, Ron. Arizona Kid. ALA named this Young Adult novel as one of the top 100 published between 1966 and 1999. Billy comes to terms with what is important in life as he is sent to live with his gay uncle in Arizona. There, Billy falls in love with Cara, a rodeo horse rider.

Marcus, Eric. Is It a Choice? This is a book of questions and answers appropriate for youth, parents and allies. Marcus carefully answers all kinds of questions that people have, but are often afraid to ask, about what it means to be a gay person today.

Marcus, Eric. What If Someone I Know is Gay? The author frankly answers questions about gay and lesbian persons.

Mastoon, A. The Shared Heart. This is a book of photographs of gay and lesbian youth who also give a short written portrait of what it means to be a gay youth today. The book shows the diversity of gay teens and breaks stereotypes and presents being gay in a very positive light as it helps teens to know that they are not alone.

Monette, Paul. Becoming a Man. This autobiography, which does contain mature themes and strong language, details the life of a gay man growing to self-acceptance. The book is on the National Book Foundation’s Recommended Reading List. It won the National Book Award in 1992.

Pollack, Rachel and Cheryl Schwartz.. The Journey Out. This handbook for gay and lesbian teens offers advice in areas such as discovering and coming to terms with one’s gay sexual orientation, coming out, dating, and dealing with homophobia.

Rench, Janice. Understanding Sexual Identity. A book of questions and answers about being gay and what it means to be a teen attempting to understand sexual identity.

Romesburg, Don (ed). Young, Gay and Proud. A guide by and for gay teens.

Sanchez, Alex. Rainbow Boys. The ALA chose it this as one of the best YA novels for 2002. The novel very nicely explores the lives of three gay high school seniors coming to terms with their sexuality and life in a homophobic school. What is nice is that there are a variety of gay characters rather than only stereotypes.

Singer, Bennett. Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian. Noted authors share their stories as well as write fictional accounts about growing up gay and lesbian.

Steffan, Joseph. Honor Bound. Steffan had risen to the top of his class at the Naval Academy by the end of his senior year. Living up to the Navy’s code of honor, he admitted he was gay when asked by a superior officer, thus destroying his own potential career.

Sutton, Roger. Hearing Us Out. A collection of interviews designed to give young adults a sense of gays and lesbians as members of a community. Winner of the 1995 Hungry Mind Review award for young adult nonfiction.

Sweeny, Joyce. Face the Dragon. Eric’s feelings of competitiveness towards his best friend threaten their friendship. Then, when Paul comes out and is attacked, Eric realizes that his friend needs him A YA novel.

Voight, Cynthia. David and Jonathan. This YA novel of friendship, “otherness,” and the Holocaust and survivor syndrome provides a rich YA-novel experience.

Walling, D. Open Lives, Safe Schools. This collection of essays is especially good for educators and others who want to understand how gay issues impact the school and how schools can be made safer and more welcoming for all persons regardless of sexual orientation.

Wieler, Fiana. Bad Boy. During his senior year of high school, A.J. comes to learn that his best friend is gay.

Woodson, Jacqueline. From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun. This YA novel is about how Melanin eventually comes to accept his lesbian mother and the race of her white girlfriend.

Woog, Dan. School's Out. This book, which is especially good for teachers and other persons interested in our schools, explores how gay issues have impacted education. It is based on a study Woog conducted with 300 persons.

Woog, Dan. Jocks. Nonfiction accounts of gay high school and college athletes and coaches dealing with sexual orientation issues.

Central Ohio Resources:

Kaleidoscope Youth Center: http://www.kaleidoscope.org/

Out Look Newspaper:http://www.outlooknews.com/

Stonewall Community Center: http://www.stonewall-columbus.org/

Other Internet Resources:

American Psychological Association GLB Healthy Student Project: http://www.apa.org/ed/hlgbschclim.html

American School Counselor Association Position Statement: http://www.schoolcounselor.org/content.cfm?L1=1000&L2=31

Cool Page for Teens: http://www.bidstrup.com/cool.htm

Famous GLB People: http://www.lambda.org/famous.htm

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network): http://www.glsen.org/

Just the Facts: A Primer on GLB Youth and Schools: http://glsen.org/templates/resources/record.html?section=14&record=424

National Association of School Psychologists Position Statement: http://www.nasponline.org/information/pospaper_glb.html

Out Proud Resources: http://www.outproud.org/

P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays): http://www.pflag.org/

Resources for Allies: http://glsen.org/templates/resources/index.html?section=17

Safe School Coalition: http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/safe.html

School Safety (Human Rights Campaign): http://www.hrc.org/familynet/chapter.asp?article=414

School Survival Guide: http://www.centeryes.org/SIGNS/

Schools and Gay Youth: http://www.pflag.org/education/schools.html

US Schools Fail GLB Youth (Human Rights Watch): http://www.hrw.org/press/2001/05/lgbt0530.htm

What Every Straight Ally Should Know: http://www.gsanetwork.org/resources/straight.html