On this page you will find:

1. Some places to meet other gay teens
2. Role Models

Some Tips for Meeting Other Gay Persons:

Even though you are not alone in being gay, bisexual or lesbian, it is often hard at first to meet other gay persons your age. Remember, unless you are at an all-gay event, you will not be surrounded by other persons who are gay. Over time, and as you meet more gay people, you will develop a “sixth sense” for noticing people who may be gay. Some people call this intuition Gaydar. . 

When noticing someone your gaydar suggests is gay, you might try making eye contact and offering a smile.  Notice if there is any unspoken communication between you.  If there is prolonged eye contact that is mutual you might try saying hello.  Never assume, however, that someone is gay and you should, of course, only take risks you are comfortable taking. 

• Visit or call the local gay community center.  They may have a group for young adults. (check the yellow pages index for gay organizations)
• Hang out at a progressive coffee house.
• Attend a local P-FLAG meeting 
• Go shopping. It’s a stereotype, but many gay males especially like to dress well.
• See if there is a place of worship near you that attracts gays and lesbians.
• Join or start a GSA (gay straight alliance) at your school.
• “Come out” to people you trust;  maybe they know other gay persons.
• Go to a gay bookstore or browse the gay section of a library or book store.
• See if a local gay club has a night for persons in your age range. (Don’t be afraid to say “no” to someone who might “hit on” you and with whom you have no interest. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to say “hi” to someone you want to meet especially if you first have mutually prolonged eye contact and a smile in response.   Gay clubs/bars are “meat markets” as well as places of entertainment).
• Be aware that the gay community is pretty close knit.  You will quickly get a reputation so be sure you establish the kind you want.  Word of mouth about people in the gay community tends to spread quickly and far.
• Attend gay events that would attract persons you would like to meet. Your local gay community center might have a listing, or your town might have a gay newspaper.
• Volunteer at gay events that might attract people you’d like to meet.
• Check Queer America’s database for local youth groups: http://www.queeramerica.com
• Be careful when meeting someone you met online.  People are not always who they appear to be online. Be sure someone knows where you will be and always meet in public places.

Most persons who are gay, lesbian or bisexual have been raised to be straight by straight people.  Most of their friends, teachers, neighbors and so forth are also straight. Most schools act as though gay persons do not exist. So, it is often difficult for GLB persons to find a role model.  Yet, we all know how important it is to have role models in our lives as we strive to develop a healthy and positive self-image.  Without role models we often find ourselves floundering, feeling lonely, isolated and unsure, feeling as though we have no compass to help guide us through life.

The book, The Gay Men’s Wellness Guide, by Robert Penn, offers these suggestions for finding role models:

• Read for pleasure. There is a growing number of books with positive gay characters.
• Read for education.  There are many books about navigating your way through a straight world.  You’ll find many recommended books on the resource page of this web site.
• Watch for fun and education. There are several television shows and films with gay characters.  I’ve listed some in the culture page of this site.
• Surf the internet. I have tried to find helpful sites throughout this web site. Take part in chat rooms (carefully!) Ask questions.  Browse the sites.
• Join a local gay youth group at your school (if there is one), or search the social organization section of the yellow pages for a group. I have tried to point your way to some groups throughout this web site.
• If there is an openly GLB teacher, talk with him/her.  He/she is often out at work partly to be a resource.
• Remember, it takes time to make friends and to find role models. Don’t give up hope.